Tough times

Today saw my beloved gran. At the age of 95 she is not in the best of health, but she is still a lady i owe so much to, but also wish i could see more often. Due to her age, any illness can cause her no end of problems, serious sometimes. She is losing her sight and her hearing, but also has become very frail and thin. But she still has eyes full of love, beautiful eyes that have always been a comfort to me.

But today i also found at something that tore my heart in two. My newly engaged brother, moved his girlfriend in to where he lives, with my mother. A room that was once my dad's office stripped so my brother could have more room, but i was told nothing of the girlfriend moving in. I feel like i have been slapped in the face, and stabbed through the heart. The final betrayal and one that has finally pointed out that i am not wanted in that family. My gran being the only one who cares, so today i have made the decision to never ever visit my childhood home again, and leave them to their choices. My gran will be the only person i will talk too, though my aunt and her family have done nothing, i know they will pick my mum's and brother's side, so that kind of ends that.

Yes i hurt, more than any words i can type, but with my son and my other half, i know some people still love me, and i'm no longer sure where i stand with my friends, i seemed to have been left by some of them. A breakdown forcing me off facebook, and leaving that behind. I admit i'm lonely, but can no longer cope with the stress that facebook caused or the trying to keep up with people whilst they ignore me.

So tough times are facing us, and i'm trying to keep going, even when inside i'm ready to quit, and tea, and crafting will keep me going for my son, and other half.  And my love for them will get me through this final rejection.