Barriers

More than ever i'm fighting barriers, be they physical or emotional. Today i'm feeling both, the cold dark weather not helping much, plus the fact i've so many pictures i want to share, but no longer feel i can anymore, except on here. This is my area, to write my thoughts and share moments which make me smile, but also to show my moments of creativity, without being made to feel i'm not good enough, or it's become a competition of who is the best.

This is our quiet space today. The rain is battering down and the blossom of the cherry tree falls like pink snow with each hard gust of wind at various times. Believe or not, even on this cold, dank day it's still a beautiful sight and our garden is slowly coming together. Herbs and wild plants are happily taking their places on the back area, and the bird feeder is much loved by the local birds, especially the pigeon you see in the photo. Even on a blustery day he comes for his daily breakfast.

We're planning on more plants and veg being planted, some tomatoes and peppers in grow bags being our veg patch. More herbs and butterfly/bee friendly plants as well as a possible fruit plant/tree in the near future. The idea is to turn this space into an area that i can get used to the open air and space, without being fearful of panic attacks and my other fears whilst in the outside, but also a space to get a dose of vitamin d from time to time.

My other space is a work in progress, a crafting zone to create whatever is in my mind/heart at the time. A place to try and escape the pain, both physical and emotional, that challenges me every day. I admit to being very lonely and online has become a place that i can type my thoughts, but social contact seems very far apart. I tried reaching out but when you call people, and they never call you back, it hurts beyond words. So i'm only ringing people who ring me from time to time. But i've distracted off my topic, the crafting space. I've two storage units which are full of various bits, and another unit which i share with my son, again crafting stuff. There are boxes awaiting sorting which contain various bits, and by the computer desk are containers full of beads, charms and various jewellery findings for when my hands want o work. There is also a cupboard full of crafting goodness. Yes i have a lot, but it fills the life i don't have, and helps ease the fact that i am a single mum who rarily leaves our home due to agrophobia and fibromyaglia. My son of course is wonderful company, but i can't talk to him when things are troubling me, he is only 11 and i want him to enjoy the world safely. I try and make his life happy.

Happy crafting, whomever you do it with